Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The day our lives changed forever.








It has been a very long time since I blogged, time just got away from me I guess. So I am just going to pick on the day that started it all. August 10th, I had a check up with my OBGYN which was also the start of my 38th week. As of the 15th the baby still had not dropped and I was only dilated 2cm. The issue that was holding everything up was the amount of amniotic fluid in my belly, still such a large amount that the baby couldn't engage and drop into the birth canal. So home I went, with tears in my eyes.

At this point I was in so much pain I couldn't see lasting much longer both mentally and physically. By chance I shared this info on Facebook and a friend of mine said the Chiropractor she works for advised her to tell me that she thought she may just be able to help me out. So I set up an appointment for August 11th. I saw the Chiropractor who helped realign my hips and worked on some pressure techniques on my belly to help the baby align and move a little farther down. At the end of the session, the baby had moved very close to the birth canal. I made an appointment to see her the next day and headed home for a bit. On my way home my contractions began to pick up, but this was nothing new to me...I had been dealing with false labor for 3 months.

 As the evening approached, Jeff and I sat down together and ate dinner. I knew something was off when I couldn't finish my hamburger and french fries due to the amount of contractions and pain I was having. I called the Doctors evening exchange and spoke with a nurse who advised me to wait till I was in a ton of pain and couldn't take it anymore. After hanging up and sitting there for a few minutes, Jeff said get ready, I am taking you in. He said he had never seen me struggle to breath and was worried. So off to St. Johns we went.

 I checked into the Women's Evaluation Unit and the mid-wife came in to check me and she got very excited. She said I was 4cm dilated and my amniotic sack was bulging. She all but ran out of the room and called my Doctor. My Doctor said to take me over to labor and delivery and admit me. Jeff and I sat there in complete shock! We for sure that they would send me back home like the other times. So off to L&D.....we knew the night would be a long one. We called our family members and updated them and told them we would call them when things began to progress. It was close to 10pm by now and we both were tired. Jeff was able to get a little sleep and I worked thru the contractions like I had learned in the few Lamaze classes I had been able to attend.

By 8am I was not progressing and Dr. Mueller had me start a small dose of pitocin to see if that might just kick things into gear...the morning passed and afternoon arrived. By lunch time Dr. Mueller umped the poticin and tried to kick things up again...all that happened were stronger more painful contractions. 3pm rolled around and I had been in labor for almost 20 hours with no pain meds or epidural. I told Jeff and my Doctor that if I was going to continue I was going to have to have an epidural....this was not in my birth plan, I wanted to do a natural labor but 20 hours had worn me down by mentally and physically. The contractions were 30 seconds apart and at a pain level of 10...I was done.

 Jeff left to get some coffee and I sat with a family friend waiting for the anesthesiologist to get there. He arrived around 3:30 and began to insert the epidural. Jeff walked in just as he began and turned green...he couldn't stand the thought of me in pain, I assured him I was fine. The pain on my face was from the contractions. After the Doctor was finished I could start to feel a little relief. At the same time my blood pressure dropped to a very low level as well as the baby's blood pressure. A nurse came in rolled me on my side and gave me an oxygen mask. I looked over and Jeff had a look of panic on his face. Thank God Jackie was still there, I couldn't get to him and reassure him...she talked to him and took his mind off of things for a few minutes.

The nurse also checked me and see if the baby had dropped, and the baby had! I was so excited!!! This meant Dr. Mueller could break my water safely and things would progress...perfect timing! Dr. Mueller came in at about 3:45pm to check me and she said the baby was engaged, but then her face turned from a smile into a frown...as she touched the baby's head, it floated back up....no such luck. She looked at me with a sad face and said I really think we need to get the baby out. I knew what she meant...my blood pressure was low, things were getting a little hairy. I said, it's fine, if a C-section was what needed to be done, then lets do it. Get the baby out safely, that is all that mattered to me at this point.



 As I was being taken to the OR, I kept rubbing my belly...this would be the last time I would feel the baby inside me...kind of a bitter sweet moment, I poked at the baby's feet and the baby kicked back at me...this was our game...the last time we would get to play it.

Once in the OR, it was about 5:15pm. I was being prepped for the surgery, it was cold in the room and they just tossed me around getting me ready...they moved fast. Jeff came in shortly after. He sat behind my head and talked to me...I think we were both scared to death...I wasn't prepared for this, I hadn't done any research on this...crap I didn't know what to expect. I was so tired...the drugs made me want to go to sleep so bad, but I kept telling myself wait a little longer, the baby is almost here!

 At 5:30 they started taking the baby out, at 5:34 I heard the most beautiful scream I had ever heard. Then I heard Dr. Mueller say he peed on me...it's a boy! I said, a boy??? I thought it was a girl...they brought him over to me and he was covered in white stuff...he looked just like me when I was a baby...he had tons of hair and huge feet...those were my first thoughts...God he was beautiful!! I stared for a few seconds and they asked me his name, I tried so hard to say it out loud but all I could do was whimper thru my tears and sobs and say, Jackson McCormack...then he was gone...he was behind me being cleaned up. I yelled to Jeff to not leave his side...leave me hear and go wherever they take Jackson, Jeff promised. Jackson cried the whole time they cleaned us both up and sewed me up. They waited till I was ready to leave and took me to recovery.

Jeff carried Jackson like a proud father. Things get a little blurry for me here...I was so tired...I remember lying in the recovery unit and seeing my parents come in...Jeff's sister Kelly and G.G. came in....everyone was laughing and crying...I kept trying to focus and see Jackson, he was being passed around. I couldn't take it anymore, I hadn't held my baby yet...Jeff put him in my arms the best he could and I cried just looking at him...God he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

That is about all I remember from that point, the nurses cleaned me up and took me to my room and Jeff with the rest of the family went with Jackson to the nursery to bath him and get him ready to come to my room. I am sure it was only a half hour or so but it felt like the longest half hour of my life...I wanted my baby! After being in my room for just a few minutes my BF Liz popped in, then everyone else...along with my sweet baby boy....we were finally together again.....my life is complete!